


The Milestone Series: Year Six

by Aggie2011



Series: Vantage Point Universe [15]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aggie2011/pseuds/Aggie2011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To celebrate Clint's sixth year at SHIELD, Phil gets him something he never expects - a blast from the past. And Clint finds the strength to tell Phil the truth about what happened that night - the night Barney stabbed him. *Pre-Avengers*NO SLASH*</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Milestone Series: Year Six

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or any of the characters affiliated with them. If I did, there would totally be a Hawkeye/Black Widow movie in the works.
> 
> This was beta-ed by the awesome Kylen who is an inspiration and a great friend :) She is amazing and should be credited as such because she is helping me achieve new heights with my writing! Can't say enough about her! 
> 
> If you are new to my stuff, this is another installment in an increasingly long line of multi-chap fics and one-shots in a universe that I created for the Avengers. It revolves around Clint Barton and various events in his life.

_A milestone passed, new things begun, dreams as shining as the sun, a goal achieved, a victory won!_

**_Unknown_ **

* * *

"If you don't drive faster, I swear to God, I'm going to jump out and steal a car."

"You're gonna jump out of a moving vehicle? Really, Clint?" Phil tossed him a condescending glance.

"I'm hungry and you're driving like a sloth on Xanax."

"A sloth on Xanax?" Phil arched an amused eyebrow.

"Don't test me, Phil. You know I'll do it."

Phil laughed. He did know. He held up one hand in surrender, keeping the other on the wheel. He pressed his foot a little harder on the accelerator.

"So," Clint settled back into his seat in a very self-satisfied fashion, "what's the plan for the day?"

Phil shrugged, glancing over his shoulder as he changed lanes.

"I'm thinking we'll play it by ear; see where the day takes us."

Clint nodded agreeably, glancing out the window. He watched a small black motorcycle race past them and for a moment he imagined it was Romanoff. It wasn't. He knew that before the wide set of decidedly _male_ shoulders became apparent. She was laid up in her room with a dislocated shoulder and a concussion. They'd been on the parkour course in the rain.

Admittedly not their _brightest_ idea.

Their reasoning had been that they had to do parkour in the rain sometimes – something Clint could attest to from personal experience. She'd been keeping pace with him expertly. Then her foot had landed wrong. In normal conditions it wouldn't have even caused a hitch in her step. In rainy, slippery conditions, she'd fallen – hard.

Dan hadn't been pleased.

Clint hadn't been exactly thrilled either. His protective instincts had been shifting into overdrive when it came to Romanoff lately. Of course, he could never tell her that because she'd kill him for ever thinking for a moment that she couldn't look after _herself_. That wasn't why he was feeling protective, but he wasn't ready to analyze the _real_ reason. And he sure as _hell_ wasn't going to discuss that reason with _her_. So in the end it was better just to keep his concern to himself.

"Clint!"

His head snapped around to look at Phil.

"What?" His eyes were as innocent as his tone.

"Welcome back to earth, space cadet," Phil teased, navigating his way into a parking garage so they could walk to their destination on foot. They'd both been craving pizza and what better way to feed that craving then getting the best pizza in Manhattan. Clint had introduced him to _Joe's_ years ago after a fun-filled day at Coney Island.

It had since become their _only_ pizza place.

"What were you thinking about so hard?" Phil asked as he parked and they climbed out. "I called your name three times once I realized you were _ignoring_ me."

"I wasn't ignoring you."

Coulson scoffed.

"Okay, so maybe I _was_ , but it wasn't intentional."

"So I ask again – what were you thinking about?"

Clint was _not_ telling Clint that his thoughts had been fully and thoroughly focused on one red-headed female assassin. But Phil knew him too well after six years to know _exactly_ when he was lying. So he settled for a half truth.

"Thinking about Romanoff." They turned a corner and _Joe's_ came into sight. "And how she's probably climbing the walls since Dan restricted her to bed for the day."

Phil laughed.

"Didn't you say she was saying nasty things in Russian when you stopped in to say goodbye?"

"Yeah, _really_ _nasty_ things. You would have blushed, Phil."

Phil rolled his eyes, holding the door open for Clint to precede him into the small pizzeria. Before following, Coulson scanned the immediate area, eyes running over faces quickly. He paused, smiled, and followed Clint in.

"What do you want?" Clint asked, eyes pinned on the man in the kitchen spinning pizza dough into the air.

"Just get us a whole pie of whatever you want."

Clint nodded, sensing Phil move away, most likely to find them a table. The man in front of him in line finished and moved away and Clint stepped forward.

"Give me a large with every meat you have except anything fishy, extra cheese…"

"Hey, can you hurry it up? Other people want to eat too!"

Clint paused mid-order. That jack-ass had interrupted his pizza order. Who _did_ that?

He turned, fully intending to tell the jack-ass just where Clint would put the man's pizza, but the words froze in his throat. A man, in his early thirties, with black hair and dark eyes, was standing there, smiling with deep dimples.

Clint stared. His mind rewound the words the man had heckled behind him. As he thought about it, he could hear the slightly different pronunciations. The way some sounds were just a little off. It couldn't be.

"Hey, Clint."

_Brit._

"Hey," Clint managed to force out. Brit smiled that knowing smile that Clint suddenly remembered with painful clarity. A smile that had gotten Clint to spill everything he was thinking in seconds once upon a time. A lump rose in his throat even as Brit reached and pulled him into a hug.

A _real_ hug.

Clint hadn't hugged anyone since the day he last hugged this _same_ man eight and a half years ago right before he'd walked away from him and everyone else at Carson's.

Seconds later, Clint was returning the hug with equal ferocity.

Phil looked on with mixed feelings. He was happy, _so_ happy, for Clint. Any doubt he'd had that tracking down Brit Allias was a good idea vanished when he saw the shock and quickly-following awe flash across Clint's eyes. He was even more certain when Clint not only _allowed_ Brit to pull him into a hug, but seconds later _returned_ it.

Clint, who had strict rules about personal boundaries. Clint, who didn't like to be touched. The simple fact that Clint allowed that contact told Phil more than words ever would about what Brit Allias had meant to him.

On the other hand, he was wildly, unreasonably, and childishly jealous. He'd known Clint for a year longer than Brit had and Phil had never hugged him, had never dared breach his personal space that completely. He couldn't help but wonder if he would be allowed the same privilege Brit was now being allowed. His thoughts refocused when Clint and Brit separated.

"How the _hell_ …?" Clint questioned, smiling widely.

"Your friend found us." Brit nodded at Phil, who smiled. "When he finally convinced us he wasn't crazy and that he really knew you, he offered to fly us out to see you."

"Us?" Clint frowned.

"Yep," A woman with long blonde hair, a three-year-old boy on her hip and a six-year-old boy standing next to her stepped up next to Brit. " _U_ _s."_

"Kara," Clint smiled.

She immediately handed the toddler off to Brit and wrapped her arms around Clint in a warm hug.

"Hey, kiddo," she greeted warmly, pulling back but not without kissing his cheek.

Clint shook his head, still awed by who was standing before him.

"And who're these guys?" he smiled at the two boys.

"This little guy is Will," Kara explained as she took the toddler back from Brit.

"And I'm Clinton Joshua Allias, but you can call me CJ!" The six-year-old's cheerful announcement had Clint glancing up at Brit, who just smiled warmly.

"That's a pretty cool name," Clint told the boy as he crouched down to CJ's level. "I know because Clinton is my name too."

"Really?" CJ's eyes widened in awe.

"Yep, but you can just call me Clint."

The little boy nodded, smiling widely and Clint smiled back. Then he rose back to his full height.

"What do you guys say we get some pizza?"

* * *

"CJ, don't pick it apart, just eat it."

Clint smirked as Kara gave the instruction because her eyes had never lifted from where she cutting up a slice of pizza and placing the pieces in front of Will, who sat in a high chair at the end of the table. CJ looked up, a little like a deer caught in the headlights, and immediately took a proper bite out of his slice.

Clint refocused his attention on Phil and Brit, who were talking like they were old friends about the good old days at Carson's Carnival. Clint didn't know if the conversation flowed so easily because Phil was _Phil_ or because Brit was _Brit_. In the end, he figured it was a little bit of both.

For being such a hard ass when he first met people, Phil could be shockingly personable when he wanted to be. It was obvious, to Clint at least, that Phil genuinely cared about getting to know Brit – _wanted_ to know him – and was making every effort to make that happen in the time they had. Brit had been important to Clint once upon a time – was still important in a different way – and Clint knew that meant he was important to Phil.

That's just how Phil was – when it came to Clint at least.

And Brit, Brit was just that kind of person. He was quiet, but always friendly, always open. He was disarming in the way he treated people and spoke to them. It was the reason he'd been able to get through to Clint all those years ago when he'd been an abused ten-year-old orphan who wouldn't say a word to anybody except Barney – even then he hadn't been saying much.

That was just Brit.

Clint wanted to soak in every minute of it. It was like the meeting of two eras. In a lot of ways Phil was to him now what Brit had been to him as a child – only Phil had become so much more. So right now, seeing the two of them interact so easily and effortlessly, it meant more to Clint than anything else in the world. Brit had helped him discover who he was, years ago when Clint didn't have a clue. Phil ... Phil had _reminded_ him who he was after Clint had forced himself to forget, had run from it. Phil had made him _okay_ with it again.

He refocused suddenly when he heard his name.

"…Clint ended up being better at it than either of us." Brit finished with a smirk at Clint.

"Of course it's hard to live up to a kid swinging upside down firing a bow and arrow at a moving target." Kara gave Clint a wink and a smile. He had a sudden memory of her sending him the same expression hundreds of times in the five years he'd known her.

Clint nodded, catching up to what they were talking about.

"You should have seen me the first time they put me up there, Phil." Clint smiled and shook his head.

"Kid was fearless," Brit interjected, his eyes twinkling as he remembered. "Ten years old and he did a flip his first time out."

"I knew you'd catch me," Clint pointed out with a grin.

"Barely," Brit scoffed with a shake of his head.

Clint's grin turned to a smirk and he took another bite of his pizza.

"Scared me to death," Brit added to Phil, who had listened to the exchange with amusement.

"I can relate to that." _More than you know._

Clint rolled his eyes.

"So what happened to everybody?" Clint asked the question carefully, quietly, looking up at first Brit and then Kara through is lashes. "After I left."

"Buck left less than a month later," Kara told him carefully.

"Buck was Trickshot, right?" Phil sought confirmation.

Clint nodded.

"Mentored me after Swordsman took off." His eyes moved to Brit, who was looking suddenly serious.

"He regretted what happened between you two," Brit stated quietly. "But you know what he was like. Admitting he was wrong would be like cutting off his hands. So he left so he'd never have to."

Clint nodded and sighed deeply. He didn't want to talk about Trickshot or what had happened between them.

"I saw Marvi about a year after I left. He wasn't working with Carson's anymore…" Clint let the statement hang, his eyes shifting between the two across the table.

"Marvi and I had a difference of opinion," Brit answered stiffly.

Clint narrowed his eyes, reading Brit's expression and the look in his eyes.

"About me."

Brit nodded.

"He shouldn't have gotten you those papers."

Clint shook his head. He wasn't having this argument again, not years later when it didn't matter anymore.

"What's done is done, Brit."

Brit inclined his head in agreement and let it drop. Phil just stayed silent, somehow not surprised that there had been dissension between these two about Clint decision to join the Army.

"So what about you two? And your mom?" Clint directed the question at Kara.

"Mom died almost three years ago." Kara's voice was quiet, pained.

Clint's expression remained emotionless, but his eyes darkened in sadness.

"I'm sorry."

Kara shook her head.

"Don't be. You know how she was. The doctors told her she had a year left and she planned a trip to travel Europe. She smiled every day until the end and lasted long enough to meet Will," she ran a hand through her youngest's blonde hair.

Clint sat back in his chair, eyes still sad.

"She believed you were happy somewhere. Wouldn't let anybody tell her different."

Clint huffed a slight laugh. That sounded like Ana, optimistic and stubborn.

"Was she right?" Brit asked suddenly, his eyes showing something Clint couldn't decipher.

"At first," he shook his head, "no. I was in a bad place for a long time. But the past six years?" Clint shot a glance and a smile at Phil. "The past six years she'd have been right."

Phil smiled back, warmed by the implication.

Brit smiled too, seeing the exchange.

"That's good."

"Now, you two," Clint leaned forward in his seat, "when did you finally get hitched?"

"Well, we left Carson's about a year after you did," Brit replied easily. "It wasn't the same without you and I'm not just talking about the acts." He gave Clint a sad smile. "Ana left with us and helped Kara plan the wedding. A few months later we tied the knot and then a year later CJ made his appearance."

CJ perked up, cheese hanging out of his mouth.

"That's me!"

"No kidding?" Clint feigned exaggerated shock, which had CJ nodding enthusiastically.

"Anyway," Kara laughed, "we eventually settled down in Michigan and opened our own gym."

Clint's eyebrow quirked in confusion.

"Not that kind of gym, Clint." Brit laughed, correctly reading his old friend's expression. "We train gymnasts."

Understanding lit Clint's eyes.

"We had two girls make the national team last year," Kara added proudly.

"I'm not surprised," Clint smiled. "You two were great teachers."

"Yeah, we figured if we could teach you we could teach anybody."

Phil laughed outright as soon as Brit's teasing words processed.

"I can _definitely_ relate to _that_."

Clint rolled his eyes.

"I'm not _that_ bad."

Kara's scoffing snicker had Clint dropping his face into his hand. When Will started laughing too – for reasons Clint was sure the three year old didn't know – it had him shaking his head and laughing right along with him.

* * *

Phil leaned back on the park bench next to Brit, both watching Clint run around the playground with CJ, Will perched on his back. Kara was sitting on a swing, gliding back and forth lazily, laughing at the antics of the three boys.

Clint ran up one of the slides, Will still on his back – the toddler was laughing so hard Phil was growing a little concerned about his breathing – secured by Clint's grip on his arms and the boy's vice like grip with his legs.

He watched Clint say something to Will – to which the boy nodded earnestly – and then he released his grip on Will's wrists and started making his way across the monkey bars.

"What did he say to him?" Phil asked Brit casually. His suspicions were confirmed when Brit answered immediately.

"Told him to hang on tight."

Phil nodded.

"You were testing to see if I was reading his lips," Brit deduced knowingly.

Phil waited until Brit turned to face him fully, then was sure to keep his mouth clearly visible.

"Clint does it all the time without even thinking about it. He said you taught him?" Phil left it there, hoping Brit would expound. Clint talked so rarely about his childhood; Phil would take whatever information he could get. He was relieved when Brit just smiled.

"Despite our teasing, he was always a great student. He was _so_ smart and loved to learn new things. The first time we properly met, he was sitting up in the rafters of the main tent. I don't even know how he got up there. _I_ barely got up there."

Phil smiled slightly and nodded. He knew a bit about that encounter. Knew even more about Clint getting places he shouldn't physically be able to get.

"I asked his name – both with words and sign language – and he gave me the funniest look." Brit smiled widely, remembering that look. "I knew right then I had him hooked. I didn't know it until that moment, but the kid is one of the most curious people I've ever met."

Phil nodded. That was one of his favorite things about Clint – his curiosity.

"I really locked him in when I told him what his brother and the prop manager were talking about thirty feet below us." Brit sighed, smiling as he watched Clint hand Will off to Kara and then tell CJ to 'watch this'. "I told him I was deaf and stayed up there with him for hours answering a million questions and giving him his first lesson in sign language."

"I bet he was a quick study," Phil commented. Brit turned back towards him at the end of the statement, his brow furrowing as he caught the last two words. "Sorry," Phil apologized, "I said I bet he was a quick study."

Brit waved away the apology and replied even as he noticed Clint running around the playground, vaulting over, around, and through the various playground structures. CJ _and_ Kara were watching in slack jawed awe.

"He was. Kid was crazy smart. He picked up sign language like that," Brit snapped his fingers together. "He would drive other people crazy by signing things at them, knowing they couldn't understand." He shook his head. "I swear, he was the most sarcastic little smart ass I'd ever met and half the time people didn't even know it."

"And the lip reading?" Phil asked, waiting this time to be sure Brit was looking right at him.

"Took a little longer, but he became just as good at that."

Phil nodded and they both watched silently for a moment as Clint parkoured around the playground, each move more fantastic than the last.

"However you found him." Brit's words were sudden, quiet, and more emotional than Phil expected. "Whatever you did to bring him back." Brit paused and shook his head. "I'm glad you did it. Because the last time I saw him, he wasn't the Clint I'd watched grow up. _That_ Clint – that Clint was gone, buried so deeply that I thought it was gone forever."

Phil waited, remembering Clint when they'd met – dark, angry, and so _so_ sad. He'd only seen the progression from there. Brit had been forced to witness the deterioration – to watch a boy that he loved fade away into something dark.

"You brought him back, not all of him – the old Clint talked _way_ more – but the important parts."

They watched Clint run back to CJ and start teaching him how to jump through the rungs of a ladder. Phil would have been worried if the boy didn't have two former acrobats for parents.

"I can never thank you enough for that," Brit finished. "Because now I don't have to worry about him anymore."

Phil nodded both in acceptance of the thanks and acceptance of the acknowledgment that Clint was _his_ responsibility now. He turned to Brit, touched his arm to get his attention.

"Now it's my turn to thank _you_. Clint told me about Jacobs." Phil watched Brit's eyes darken into a swirling mixture of anger and protectiveness. "I took care of it." Understanding dawned in Brit's eyes. Phil went on before the other man could process further. "Thank you for being what he needed when nobody else, including his own brother, was willing."

Brit nodded and Phil was surprised when the man gave him a weighing look. The former acrobat nodded suddenly.

"You've done more for him than I ever did."

Phil was a little surprised by the declaration.

"And he cares more about you than he ever did about me."

Phil was _very_ surprised by _that_ declaration. He couldn't stop himself from asking, from pursuing the topic.

"How do you figure?"

Brit smiled a warm, knowing smile.

"He walked away from me. He walked away and he never looked back, maybe _couldn't_ look back." Brit's smile turned sad, a little hurt even. "You, the way he looks at you. It's how he used to look at Barney before everything went to hell between them. And _that_ tells me that he could never walk away from you like that. Just like he couldn't walk away from Barney, even at the bitter end."

Phil felt a lump rise in his throat. He turned his eyes back to Clint, laughing and playing with CJ like he was his own son instead of someone else's. He felt for Brit – couldn't imagine having to let Clint walk away for what could have been forever. He also couldn't imagine knowing Clint was self-destructing as he did. But Brit had been part of a painful story, a story Clint could barely bring himself to face even now. He sensed, by Brit's words, that the man understood that and didn't hold it against the archer. Still cared about him even now.

"I looked for him, you know, when I heard he'd been arrested and then broken out of prison. But he'd disappeared." Brit's words were heavy. "Like a ghost."

Phil didn't have it in him to tell Brit what Clint had become after that. The word "ghost" was almost too accurate a term. He didn't want to ruin whatever image Brit had of Clint.

As it turned out, Brit was far more perceptive than he gave him credit for.

"I know there's more to it than government work for a branch of the military."

Phil tossed him a wary glance and Brit sighed deeply.

"He carries a weight now that he didn't carry before." Phil opened his mouth to respond, but Brit shook his head. "I don't want to know, but whatever it is – whatever it is he does now and did then – just take care of him, okay?"

Phil nodded seriously.

"Always," he promised.

Brit nodded and looked back towards the playground, perking up when he saw his oldest running towards him. CJ started signing rapidly – talking even more quickly - raving about Clint and what how awesome he was. Brit watched with a smile, nodding and signing back at the appropriate times.

Phil stood as Clint and Kara approached and offered Kara his seat.

"Thanks, but it's getting late, and we've got an early training session tomorrow so we should head to the airport."

Brit, who'd watched her mouth closely as she spoke, nodded and stood.

"She's right."

Kara leaned forward immediately to hug Clint, Will halfway sandwiched between them.

"You take care of yourself, okay? And don't go eight and a half years without letting us know how you are."

Clint nodded and allowed her to kiss his cheek once again. He gave her a weak smile, wondering if he'd ever see her again. Outside connections weren't good in his line of work. She sighed a little, seeming to read his mind, and squeezed his hand before pulling away completely.

Clint reached to tickle Will's stomach.

"Bye-bye, little man."

"Bye!" Will chirped, reaching towards him, indicating he wanted a hug too.

Clint obligingly took him from Kara and gave the toddler a quick hug.

"You look after your little brother, okay? That's what big brothers are supposed to do." Clint issued the instruction to CJ with a smile, but the other three adults all knew the weight behind the words. CJ nodded earnestly, hugged Clint's side quickly and then took Will from him.

"Thank you," Kara offered to Phil, surprising him by hugging him as well.

Phil gave her a nod as she pulled back and led the two boys back towards their parked cars.

Brit offered Phil a hand and he shook it firmly.

"Thank you for doing this."

Phil nodded again.

"Thank you for coming." He turned to Clint. "I'll wait for you at the car."

Clint nodded and looked to Brit as Phil walked away.

"You're happy?"

Clint nodded.

"Okay."

Brit didn't give Clint a chance to object before pulling him into a firm hug. Clint hugged him back, emotion tightening in his chest. He pulled back and met Brit's eyes.

"I'm sorry." He signed the words as well.

Brit's eyes softened.

"I'm sorry I left the way I did…that I never came back."

"You did what you thought you had to do," Brit replied, also signing. "And I know now that you ended up where you belong."

Brit shot a meaningful look at where Phil stood chatting with Kara by the car, helping her strap the boys into their seats. Clint followed his gaze and smiled as he turned back to face Brit again.

"You were right, when you told me you didn't belong at Carson's – didn't belong with us." Brit smiled. "I didn't see it. I didn't understand until now. You'd never been braver than when you found the courage to walk away, the courage to be something more. And whether your road getting to where you are was smooth or rocky…you _are_ something more now, something better."

Clint smiled a little and nodded in thanks.

"Take care of yourself, Clint."

"You too, Brit."

Clint initiated the second hug and it was quicker than the first.

His last words to Brit were only hand motions.

_Thank you. For everything you did for me that I never thanked you for._

Brit smiled and signed back.

_I never wanted thanks. I just wanted you to be okay._

_I am now._

Brit nodded.

_I know. And that's why this time, I can be the one to walk away._

With one last clap of his hand on Clint's shoulder, Brit signed goodbye and Clint returned it. Then the black-haired acrobat walked past him towards his family.

Clint followed more slowly, watching Brit climb into the car and waving when all four of them waved from the car as Kara pulled away. Clint headed for Phil.

"So we've still got some daylight left, I'll leave our plans…" Phil stopped suddenly when Clint walked up to him and hugged him, firmly.

"Thank you."

The words were quiet, but fervent. Phil couldn't find words for a long moment, his throat preoccupied with the lump taking residence in it. He returned the hug immediately though.

Finally he managed, "You're welcome."

Clint pulled away and stepped back.

"Come on, let's go for a walk."

Phil nodded slowly, wondering what Clint had on his mind. Clint led the way away from the car and Phil fell into step next to him. They stepped onto a path that would wind through the park they were in. For several minutes neither of them said anything. And when Clint spoke, it was about the last thing Phil ever expected.

"I had been climbing in the rafters – goofing off – it's the reason they didn't know I was in the tent when they came in."

 _Barney._ Phil glanced at Clint, but the younger man was looking straight ahead as they walked.

"Reading lips was second nature at that point. I did it without thinking, even when I shouldn't. I wish sometimes that I hadn't that night. Maybe if I hadn't, none of it would have happened." Clint shook his head. "But then I guess they would have kept getting away with it, so…" he shrugged falling silent briefly.

Phil waited patiently. If Clint was going to tell him about this, Phil was going to let him do it in his own time.

"It was only Barney's mouth that I could see at first. He was angry because his cut wasn't as big as he thought it should be. He was whispering I think, trying not to be heard, which is why I couldn't hear him up there...but Swordsman, Jacques, he wasn't worried about being heard. He always was an arrogant son of a bitch. They argued about the cut amounts and I thought they were talking about an outside job or something, I didn't know," Clint shook his head, "I _never_ thought they would be ripping off Zane. But then Barney asked why they didn't just steal the whole take for the night and leave. Jacques called him an idiot – told him that as long as they kept the amount they skimmed small enough, they could keep doing it for as long as they wanted."

Clint sighed deeply.

"I didn't know what to do. At first I was frozen, but then all I could think was that I had to stop them. So I climbed over to where the trapeze was set up and jumped down to the net. Jesus, you'd have thought I'd shot an arrow at them the way they looked at me.

"I rolled off the net and faced them. I was fifteen. I was stupid. I never thought for a second that Barney would hurt me, or that he'd let Jacques hurt me. I was so _stupid_."

"It's not stupid to believe the best in people," Phil intjected quietly.

"Stupid or not, it seems to be something I can't shake." They both thought of Natasha. "Anyway," he sighed deeply, "they came towards me and I held my ground. Told them I knew what they were doing and that they had to stop. It was _Barney_ that issued the first threat. Told me I was going to keep my mouth shut about it. Jacques was the one that offered to cut me in.

"I was so _angry_." Clint shook his head. "I was angry that they were stealing, that they were stealing from _Zane_. That they thought I would ever want to be part of it. It told them both to go to hell. Told them I was going to tell Zane."

Phil winced and Clint caught the look.

"Yeah, like I said, _stupid_. I tried to leave but Jacques blocked my exit, floored me with a backhand." Clint touched the corner of his mouth as if he could still feel the sting of the hit. "The next couple of minutes are kind of a blur…and it hit me, as Barney was kicking me in the gut, that they weren't going to stop. That if I didn't run, I wasn't going to ever tell anyone anything. So I kicked Barney in the nuts, kicked Jacques in the nose, and ran like hell."

Phil waited again as Clint collected his thoughts.

"What that felt like – running from my brother and my mentor because they were trying to kill me." Clint shook his head. "I was terrified. Brit and Kara were in the city on a date. I knew Buck was in his tent and I ran for it. I only ever made it to the prop tent. Then Jacques cut me off, and Barney came up behind me. When I turned to face him, he had a knife in his hand. I pleaded with him, I _begged_ my brother not to do it. And I believed, with everything I had, that he wouldn't – right up to the moment where he raised the knife and met my eyes.

"Then I _knew_. I knew it was over. That I was going to die and my own brother was going to kill me. He hated me. I could see it in his eyes. How does that happen? How does the only person you have left in the world go from loving you to hating you enough to put a knife in your chest?"

Phil was certain Clint wasn't really looking for an answer.

"Can you imagine?" Clint asked quietly, slowing to a stop and turning to look at him. Phil stopped too and waited. "Can you imagine, looking in the eyes of someone you loved with everything you had and seeing hate. Seeing anger. Seeing no regret as he stabbed you? Can you _imagine_ what that felt like?"

Phil shook his head.

"It hurt worse than the knife ever could. It gutted me. And when Barney walked away and left me there to die in the mud, I didn't want to survive anymore. And long after the stab wound healed, _that_ wound kept bleeding. And it never stopped. So I pushed it down. I ignored it. I pretended that it didn't happen because even now I don't _understand._ I don't know _how_ he could do it."

Phil watched Clint's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed thickly, watched his eyes well with tears he would never allow to fall.

"How does someone do that to their own brother, Phil?"

Before he could protest, Phil pulled him into a hug, not unlike Brit had less than an hour ago.

"I don't know, Clint. I can't tell you why. But I _can_ tell you that I will never let anything like that happen to you again."

That's all he could say, all he could promise.

"I'll protect you, Clint."

Clint's shoulder's hitched just once and he returned the hug tightly.

A few minutes later, Clint pulled back and forced a chuckle.

"Damn, Phil, if you wanted to know about that night, all you had to do was ask. No need for all the dramatics."

Phil smiled, laughed, and allowed Clint his coping mechanism. He smiled, nodded, and listened as Clint chatted about the most inconsequential things, coping in the only way he knew how, as they walked back to the car.

They never talked about Barney again. It took six months before Clint had another dream about that night. Like every time before, Clint handled it with a long run and a stoney-faced, blank expression - his emotions carefully walled away.

This time, though, Phil didn't let them stay there.

"It won't happen again. I won't let it."

It took a moment, but the blank expression melted away - and Clint smiled.

* * *

End of Year Six

That one packed a bit of an emotional punch :) Sorry Nat wasn't in it yet, but this story is a few months pre-Vietnam, so they aren't quite there yet.

I love comments!


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